'Gay Marriage' More Binding Than A Catholic Wedding?

For Immediate Release
Chicago: February 22, 2010

“Gay Marriage” More Binding Than A Catholic Wedding?

Laws make divorce more difficult

Gay Marriage: More Binding Than a Catholic Wedding, is an All the Way IN radio program hosted by Deborah E. Lake. The program will air live on Monday, March 5th at 6:30pm EST. Guest Mariette Geldenhuys, Attorney at Law will address the fact that same gender couples who no longer wish to be together often live in a commitment limbo because of the inconsistency in state laws.“Because there is no uniform approach to recognizing same gender committed relationships in America, lesbian and gay couples need to be especially informed before entering into a civil union or marriage,” said Lake.



This will be Geldenhuys' second interview on All the Way IN radio. During her first interview, she outlined the chaotic legal state of same gender committed couples. “It saddens me that we have to think this way, but this is really important,” said Geldenhuys. “It is much wiser to think it through carefully.” Gay marriage is recognized legally in different ways and only in a small number of states. Add to this, the lack of clear leadership at the federal level, and same gender couples who want to build a life together face an unpredictable future. This means that same gender couples need to think about how they would proceed if the unthinkable happens—they no longer want to remain a couple—at a time when they should be celebrating with family and friends. Listeners can hear the program live, and call in with questions or comments at (347) 857-3286.



About All the Way IN radio:
All the Way IN is a BlogTalkRadio show that focuses on topics to help people live life to the fullest. Host and executive producer Deborah E. Lake explores relationship, health, social, and other issues that we all face today. Listeners are encouraged to call (347) 857-3286 to add their questions or comments. Downloads are available through iTunes and DeborahELake.com.



About Mariette Geldenhuys:
Ms. Geldenhuys has practiced law in Ithaca, New York for the past twenty-one years. A major focus of her practice is LGBT law, including marriage rights, domestic partnerships, civil unions, adoptions and estate planning. She is constantly seeking new and creative ways to expand legal protection for her lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender clients. She is a member of the National Family Law Advisory Council of the National Center for Lesbian Rights, the New York State Bar Association Special Committee on LGBT People and the Law and the planning committee of the Family Law Institute of the National LGBT Bar Association. She is also the Founder and Founding President of the Ithaca Area Collaborative Law Professionals and sees Collaborative Law as an effective process for LGBT clients to resolve legal issues. For more information, see www.geldenhuyslaw.com.

Press Contact: Deborah Lake

(978) 201-3300

info@lakeenterprise.com

New Year New Way (part one)

In Luke we are told:
In the same way, after the supper he took the cup, saying, "This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you.”


And Hebrews reads:
By calling this covenant "new," he has made the first one obsolete; and what is obsolete and aging will soon disappear.


What is being communicated in these two text is not what we have been taught to believe. If we look at the word 'new' which is in both the Greek and the Hebrew Bibles we can get an idea of what we have been missing. Also, if we look at the passion that is raised when the generally accepted interpretation of these texts is challenged, we can get an idea of just how much we can change with a different perspective. Just how much we can change when we develop an interpretation that is more compatible with the life and teaching of Jesus Christ.


Both Luke and Hebrews describe a new covenant with God. This covenant is meant to replace the old. If you look at what most people believe, though, you will get the impression that the only difference between the old and the new covenant is the sacrifice. Now, if something is new it is by definition different. Think about it. When you go out and buy a new pair of shoes, for instance, you don't look for shoes that are just like the ones that are worn out. You don't look for shoes that have scuffs and scratches all over them. You don't want shoes that have the same run over heels and support your feet feel just like your old. No. You look for shoes that are different. Better. Shoes that are what you need today, not yesterday.


Let's look at the old covenant quickly. In Genesis 17 we learn that Abram is instructed to circumcise himself and all the faithful men as a sign of the covenant that they have with God. This is when God changes his name to Abraham and promises that a faithful Abraham will be the father of many nations. In Genesis 22, Abraham is instructed by God to sacrifice his son. God tells him to go out and kill his son to prove that he is still faithful. Just as Abraham is about to sacrifice his son, an angel stops him and tells him to kill a nearby ram instead. Now, these are summaries of the stories. I encourage you to go to your Bibles and read both.


Let's look at the new covenant. Jesus Christ lived in ancient Israel and ministered to people for about three years, we believe. Christians believe that he is the son of God who came, lived, and died to pay for our sins. In other words, because Jesus suffered and died, we are worthy of being forgiven by God for our sins. Or, Jesus was the ram in the thickets. I don't know about you, but this just doesn't work for me. This is not new. The covenant is still the same. The only difference is that instead of a ram, a man was sacrificed. With this interpretation, innocence is still killed because people are not. People are not innocent, so someone who is must die. Another way to put this is innocence is sacrificed because people do not. People do not work to stop causing damage and pain, so innocence must be sacrificed.

During his ministry, Jesus consistently challenged those who were comfortable with the status quo. He cared for the people who were hurting, and included the outcasts. He surrounded himself with people who were the every day Joe Blows of his time. Fishermen, tax collectors, carpenters, prostitutes, everyday working class people who were living from one paycheck to the next were the people with whom Jesus connected. Jesus taught people just like most of us today to love our neighbor as yourself, and to love God with all your heart and soul. He told us to take the cinder out of our own eye before we talk about the speck in our neighbor's. In other words, look at your own short-comings before you point to the flaws of another. Jesus taught us to be responsible to, and for, one another, and to speak up against the wrongs that we saw. If we follow what Jesus taught, said, and did, we cannot conclude that the current interpretation of the passion and death of Christ is correct.

I'm inviting you to join me in a sermon series that will lay the groundwork for an understanding of the real new covenant. We will explore the events and decisions that were made by people leading up to the crucifixion. We will explore how things might have been different if particular people had made other choices. For instance, how do you think things would be different today if Judas had said 'go to hell' when he was asked to point Jesus out for thirty pieces of silver? We will then look at the resurrection with the new insight from this series, and start living according to what we have learned. Because what we will read and study in this series will tell us that Jesus did not die for our sins, he died because of our sins. He died because of our sins of greed, cowardice, jealousy, and... you fill in the blank.


The last time we were together I gave you what I call lifework Lifework is like the homework that we do as students. We get new information in class, then we do homework to turn the information into the knowledge that broadens our understanding. Lifework is what we do to let go of some of the old information that we have so that we can turn to a new perspective on how to live. Your lifework has been to find a comfortable place, take 15 minutes every day, and just sit with your thoughts and feelings without censoring them. If you haven't heard my last sermon, you can download it from my website: www.turningitaround.com and get the details for this lifework assignment.


Today, your lifework is to continue as before with this change: recite the passage from Psalm 119:64a before you sit with your thoughts, and at the end of your 15 minutes.

The earth is filled with your love.

The earth is filled with your love.

The earth is filled with your love.

Until next time, may God continue to bless and keep you.
Amen,

Reverend Deborah Elandus Lake

Your Body Your Temple

In Jeremiah1:5 we read:
Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.

And in Psalm 139:13 we read:
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.

These two verses have become battle cries for those who use them to validate a political agenda. We all know about the continued fight between those who are anti-abortion, pro-life or anti-choice and those who are pro-abortion or pro-choice. The the long and often mean spirited fight can be summarized in who controls what a woman does with her body. Does the woman control her body? Or should religious institutions have that privilege? Lawmakers? Family? Society? Who or what controls what a woman does with her body? This battle seems never ending, and sometimes violent. Over the decades, men have been the most visible and the most vocal on both sides.
When we take the text for today literally, the message is clear; God knew us even before we were born. Our life's work, the reason we are born, is determined even as we are being formed in our mother's womb. This means that before our bodies are functional organisms, before our bodies even exist in this world we are who we are and God knows us. Based on the literal interpretation, we might decide that a woman should not have the last say over what she does with her body. However, if we accept the literal interpretation, we have to also agree that a particular version of Christianity should be the law of the land. We have to agree that everyone, regardless of their personal beliefs or religious affiliations, is subject to this one version of Christianity. The separation of church and state dictate that we cannot establish one religion as law, so we need to look deeper.
In Matthew 7:5 we read:
Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

This means that we need to know who we are first. We need to see our own flaws, clean up our own house, remove the plank from our own eyes before we can even try to see the speck in another's. The message to know who you are first is quite clear.
Self-knowledge is not easy mainly because who we are is often not who we want to be. Who we are is often not who we think we should be. In Jeremiah we are literally told that God knows who we are before our bodies are formed: Before I formed you in the womb I knew you. God knows who we are, first. Our bodies come after the fact. Now, let's move away from the literal understanding and look at a common theme for clarity. We might even be able to find some sanity in this particular battle. The theme is grounded in knowing or knowledge.
The biblical know is varied. There is the know as in God knowing or divine knowing. Genesis 3:5 is an example of this: For God knows that in the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.

There is the know as in sexual knowing between people. Genesis 19:8 is an example: See now, I have two daughters who have not known a man; please, let me bring them out to you, and you may do to them as you wish; only do nothing to these men, since this is the reason they have come under the shadow of my roof.

There is the know as in naming something or someone. Genesis 2:19 illustrates this: Out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name.

There is the human knowing God: Genesis 6:7, I will take you as My people, and I will be your God. Then you shall know that I am the LORD your God who brings you out from under the burdens of the Egyptians.

Know as in the knowledge of good and evil Genesis 2:9, And out of the ground the LORD God made every tree grow that is pleasant to the sight and good for food. The tree of life was also in the midst of the garden, and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

Making oneself known or revealing yourself. Genesis 45:1, Then Joseph could not restrain himself before all those who stood by him, and he cried out, “Make everyone go out from me!” So no one stood with him while Joseph made himself known to his brothers.

We can see that know, knowing, revealing, and knowledge are important in the Bible based on prevalence. This makes knowing important to us.

Many of us choose to think that knowing means that we can claim to know what is in God's mind all while we have no clue about our own motivations. We decide that biblical knowledge gives us permission to tell the world what/who God loves, and what/who God hates. We then use this 'knowledge' to justify who and what we love and who and what we hate. All while we do this, we have no clue about how to love God. We have no idea about whether our neighbors feel love from us. In addition, we refuse to see the most destructive sin of all, which we commit each time we ignore the pain of another.

We have already established that when the text is literally applied, abortion should be banned and a woman's right to privacy should be denied. If God knew us before our bodies were being formed, then abortion is, in fact, murder. This is a common understanding. Not so common, however is the fact that we can also use the Bible to justify protecting a woman's right to abortion. If God knew us before our bodies were being formed, then abortion does not stop us from existing. This means that abortion cannot be murder because we exist independent of a physical body. Consequently, a woman's right to privacy can be protected without contradicting what the Bible teaches.

There is a problem with this when we include the separation of church and state. Using the Bible to impose a particular religious perspective, or belief, or judgment on others is against our constitution. Both the anti-abortionist and the pro-abortionist are wrong when they use religion to justify passing a law. When we decide what God wants, likes, expects, for anyone other than ourselves this is hubris. If you do not know what hubris means, part of your lifework after this sermon is to look it up and learn the word. When we say:

you need to...

Or, she has to...

Or, they are not saved.

Or, he is going to hell.

Or, God doesn't want those people in his house.

Or, God don't like ugly.

Or....you fill in the blank.
When we say these things, and then point to a verse in the Bible to support our opinion, we use the Bible to promote what we want. Rather than accessing the Bible to support and inform us as we make our way to self-knowledge, we use the Bible to help us feel superior to others, First remove the plank from your own eye. Know who you are, first. Know where you are in your life, first. Know the plank that is in your eye, first. The Bible is here to support your individual process, not to enable you to impose your will on others.
If you strive to know who you are, you will learn that self-knowledge is sometimes painful, joyful, difficult, easy, and a life-long process. When you strive to know self you gain skills like patience, understanding, consistency, endurance, honesty, and clarity. Then you are able to use your skills, when the opportunity is offered, to help another. Conversely, if you spend most of your time and energy memorizing the biblical verses that help you feel accepted and valid, if you spend all your time rejecting verses that contradict what you think is right, you are insulting a long held tradition. In addition, you reject knowing the one thing that is yours alone, you.
Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you.. It is up to you to fill in that blank by knowing who you are. What are you appointed to do? Do you know? Are you working to find out?
The last time we were together I gave you what I call lifework. This is like the homework that everyone has as students. Lifework is what we do to gain the skills we need to turn our lives around. The last assignment was to take 10 minutes every day and remove all distractions. Then find a part of your body that you like or that you are comfortable seeing and really get to know that part. At the same time, you were to repeat this phrase: my body is home to my spirit. Now, we are going to build on what we have been doing.
Find a comfortable place, and expand the time that you set aside to 15 minutes. Sit in an upright position and remove distractions. Close your eyes if you are comfortable doing so. If not, find a spot to rest your eyes. Once you are comfortable, and things are quiet, sit with your thoughts. Do not try to censor your thoughts or change your feelings. Be gentle with yourself and give yourself 15 minutes of time when you do not think you are wrong, or silly, or ugly, or fat, poor, too old, too young, or any of the things that we all have thought about ourselves. Do this every day if possible. Give yourself 15 minutes of uncensored, uninterrupted time to be.
Until next time, may God continue to bless and keep you,
Amen

Reverend Deborah E. Lake

Intro to Turning It Around Today

Turning It Around Today is your way to remove the double edged sword of today's religion. Albert Einstein is credited with describing insanity as doing the same thing while expecting a different result. By continuing to accept the way religious institutions and its leaders function in the world, we are all doing the same thing while expecting different results. We are praying to the same God, in the same institutions, for the same changes, and expecting different results. Meanwhile, every new generation witnesses more corruption, deeper confusion, and a higher rate of apathy.

So, how do we turn things around? We start with self, rather than other. Turning It Around Today teaches how to accept the fact that we are all flawed, and that we each follow on our own life journey. We each have a faith tradition that is developed from how we see the world, rather than a product of an imposed set of laws. Some of us have faith that our needs will be met. Some of us have faith that our needs will be ignored. We each have a belief system that comes out of our life experience rather than from reading an interpretation of another individual. Some of us believe that we are part of something greater than ourselves, some of us believe that the life we are living is all.

The goal is to see that when we work on understanding what motivates us to act, feel, speak, and keep silent, we get closer to knowing our God. Knowing our God is the first step to finding spiritual health and well-being. To some of us, the promise of wealth motivates us to act, feel, speak, and remain silent. This means that wealth is our God. To some of us the promise of love motivates us. Love is our God. Once we know what God is to us today, we can then determine if this is the God we want tomorrow. If it is not, we can start turning it around and move in a different direction toward a different God.